2. Action plays out in sleazy/swanky private clubs & posh hotels, apparently all catering exclusively to rich gangster-types. Silly.
3. SPOILER ALERT there is an adorable puppy! The puppy dies! YOUR GIRLFRIEND HATES THIS MOVIE AND YOU AND HOW COULD ANYONE EVER
4. You can feel the producers of John Wick back-patting themselves thinking they made a hip, stylish film. They are easily impressed.
5. Dated typography & wall-to-wall shitty techno actually makes JOHN WICK feel cheap & super-90s. IDK maybe that’s cool now
6. Anyhow, there IS fun to be had. But if you’re in the “JOHN WICK is an overlooked gem” camp, YOU’RE easily impressed.
7. *BONUS* JOHN WICK tweet: Marilyn Manson sucks.